Skip to main content

The Beginning of A New Journey

This past New Year's Eve I handed in my UPS uniform which marked the end of my journey as a temporary worker.  During my brief tenure there I had gained much. My self esteem soared, it felt great wearing that "brown" uniform, my moods were much more stable and most importantly I was making money, and working a normal day. There is something psychologically hardwired into a man to be a provider.  I don't know if this feeling comes from the caveman days, regardless making money gave me a purpose and a fulfillment that I needed for my psyche.  I am grateful for that alone, for this short taste of financial security.  I am grateful to have had the opportunity to work at UPS,  but now I close that chapter and embark on a new and more challenging journey for the upcoming 6 months.

Tomorrow I will begin my 6 month internship as a music therapist.  This is the last and most challenging leg of my college journey; after this I will finally earn my diploma.  For 4 years I have given it my all, sacrificed much, and have overcome tremendous obstacles.  I look back at my life these past 4 years and I marvel at all that I have accomplished through the grace of our Lord.   I have to be honest I am not terribly excited about this journey. (Who is excited about carrying a cross?) The most difficult thing for me is giving up my cave man duty of earning money during this internship. I must make peace with the fact that I will be commuting for nearly 3 hrs a day and that that my entire life will be drastically changed during these next 6 months.  There are so many uncertainties, so many unknowns, so many questions.  How will I continue blogging?  How will I handle ministry? How can I exercise on a regular basis? How will I spend time with my wife?  What happens if my wife gets pregnant? etc. These are the questions that besiege my mind and fill my heart with anxiety.  But in spite of these distressing thoughts I know that I have been in this place many times during the past 4 years, and in each of those moments the Lord has always provided for me. (Often times at 5 minutes before midnight as I like to say) I know without a shadow of a doubt that he will provide, that this experience will be beneficial, that he will give my wife and I the financial, spiritual, and material sustenance that we need.  Sometimes it is good when the Lord wrecks our structures and routines because through doing this it forces us to rely more on him and less on ourselves. Even though I am scared, worried, and uncomfortable about the next 6 months, I can feel the soft, stilling voice of the Lord calming me, reassuring me that he has this new journey comfortably nestled in his loving hands.  The only thing that I have to do now is to trust.


Popular posts from this blog

10 Great Quotes from The Book of Sirach

The book of Sirach is a book that is often overlooked in the bible. This is unfortunate since this book contains many wise, practical saying on how to live a virtous life. The book was believed to have been written between 200-175 B.C.E.

Here are ten quotes that I feel best reflect this timeless work.

1."Do not become a beggar by feasting with\borrowed money, when you have nothing in your purse." Sirach 18:33

2."In all you do remember the end of your life, and then you will never sin." 7:36

3.."Glory and dishonor come from speaking; a man's tongue is his downfall." 5:13"

4."A wise man is cautious in everything." 18:27

5."One who trusts others is light minded." 19:4

6."If you pursue justice, you will obtain it and wear it as a glorious robe." 27:8

7."Many have fallen by the edge of the sword, but no many as have fallen because of the tongue." 28:18

8." In all of your work be industrious and no sickness will…

George Michael, Carrie Fisher, and The Afterlife

I was stunned, as was most of the world was when I heard about the passing of George Michael on Christmas day.  Michael possessed enormous talent was and one of the most successful acts in the 1980's and early 90's

Shortly after Carrie Fisher died.  Fisher was famous for her legendary role as princess Leia from the Star Wars movies.  Strangely her mother also died the day after.

2016 was a notable year for celebrity deaths.

Some names include Prince, Glenn Frey, David Bowie,  Doris Roberts, Alan Rickman, and Muhammad Ali.

As a Catholic these deaths got me thinking about the transient nature of life and the inevitability of death.

Marcus Aurelius, the stoic, emperor, philosopher king wrote about the passing nature of life as he reflected, "Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away."

Even though I agree mostly with Aurelius&…

Me vs. The Almighty

There is a famous scene in the Bible where Jacob wrestles with God.  Jacob fights with God until God takes out a bone from Jacob's thigh. Interestingly, God eventually relents and stops fighting with Jacob. After this dramatic incident, Jacob is renamed Israel which literally means, "he who struggles with God."

I can relate to this story.  Many times in my life I have argued with God. I still do. (my wife can attest to that.) Many times I have criticized his tactics, his ways, and his wisdom. In my worst moments, I have even used choice language. I have a complicated relationship with God. Like Jacob, I have wrestled with God. (thigh bone still intact)

Recently I approached a priest friend of mine and told him of my struggles with God.  I expected that he would chide me for my lack of respect and informality. What this priest said was illuminating and encouraging. He told me that it was OK at times to be angry with God, God understood. He, in fact, encouraged this honest…