"Burning down the house": X-Mas 06' Pt. 1

For greater context listen and sing this song first.

Talking Heads - Burning down the house
Uploaded by Dan_of_the_Land. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

We were all gathered together on that Christmas Eve.  It was supposed to be a wonderful and memorable evening; we had our traditional Slovak/ Italian 10 course feast, the house was decorated in all its Dickensian glory, there was majestic Christmas choral music performed by the Vienna Boys Choir playing in the background, and most importantly our entire, immediate family was together, under one roof, celebrating the birth of our Lord. Everything was supposed to be story book perfect until...Before we get to the main point let me give my audience a little background information.

Marcello, (Yes the same Marcello from Marcello's Mischief) and I spent the entire previous day carefully preparing the living room for this feast.  Everything was going smoothly except for one huge insurmountable obstacle, that damned Candelabra. The candelabra was made of fake, ostentatious steel, and it's arms were cyclopean, and all encompassing  like an octopus.  It was an intimidating eye sore, even though I petitioned my mother fervently to remove it she still insisted that we keep it in its original location, right next to the window with the long, drooping curtains next to it.

So on that fateful night, someone decided to light all of the candles of the Candelabra,( most likely Marcello) Everything was going fine with the festivities until...my future sister in law bumped into the candelabra and nearly tipped it over into the curtains. We were all aghast and we held our collective breaths as we saw that humongous squid nearly burn down our entire home. Fortunately nothing happened, the octopus eventually was able to balance itself out, causing the candles to extinguish on their own.  So do you think that we would move that damned, fire hazard?  Well no, not exactly.

After that near miss we were all concerned and scared for about 10 seconds until some idiot once again re lit the candles. (Probably Marcello) We were all celebrating and having a great time until...I moved my arms and once again hit the candelabra causing it to tip over again. But this time the octopus nearly fell down causing the curtains to almost catch fire.  Fortunately I was able to douse the potential inferno by quickly pouring water on the curtain. On again we had dodged a bullet, but the crazy thing is that this was not the end of that night, there were still more near death experiences in store for us, actually just one, but I will explore this experience in my next blog.

By the way that damned candelabra still lives, not in the same corner, by the curtains, but now temporarily positioned by the piano.


Popular Posts