Cooler than The Dos Equis Guy

I'm the man.  I'm such a stud.

I'm a Steve McQueen turtle neck wearin, motorcycle ridin, leather jacket sportin, lady killer. I'm the type of guy who throws his cigarette on floor just to watch the bad guys explode. I am smoother than James Bond "shaken not stirred", more interesting than the Dos Equis guy and I have more swagger than Humphrey Bogart. I am so cool that I put the cool in cool hand Luke. 

Now back to reality...

In reality I am none of the above, but I have had a strange winning streak attracting ladies.  That's right ladies.  I know that I am married and all but lately women have been commenting on my irrestible allure.

That is...elderly ladies in Church.

Recently when I went to mass an elderly woman approached me commenting, "Wow you look so different!" As she was saying this I couldn't help noticing that she seemed out of breath, panting like a teenager seeing one of the Beatles for the first time.  Later on after catching her breath she went to tell my wife the same.  As I was praying I couldn't help notice how she kept staring at me.  In reality I did look different since I decided to dress up, but still it was kind of weird in a semi flattering way.

On another day as I was sitting in mass an elderly lady just randomly comes to me and kisses my left shoulder; then leaves. 

It was all so bizarre like an episode of the twilight zone. Now each time I see these women I try to look the other way, but I can't. There eyes are everywhere.  During these moments I begin hearing the familiar, spooky, repetitive theme of the Twilight Zone.  Then in the midst of all of this I hear these words,  "Stay thirsty my friends."


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