Christmas CD's Gone Bad

Ah...The Christmas season is upon us.  That season of gay merriment, egg nog, Parson Brown, (seriously who is Parson Brown?) relentless shopping, gaudy lights, sappy Hallmark movies, never ending "It's a Beautiful Life" reruns, memorable tunes, terrible tunes, nostalgic memories, Thomas Kinkade paintings, the Rockefeller tree, Grinches stealing Christmas, Salvation Army bells ringing, christmas lists; all made by "nice" kids, crowded shopping malls, frenzied shoppers, Ralphie with his pink Rabbit onesie, the ubiquitous Santa Claus, and the occasional nativity scene.

Christmas seems like a chaotically, disorganized dish with a bunch of different ingredients which normally wouldn't blend well, but still comes out mildly tasty. (even though it might cause heartburn later on)  Christmas has become that heartburn producing casserole.

Christmas is the time of yuletide cheer, or in my case yuletide horror as I came across.....................wait for it...............wait for it.................."Willie Nelson The Christmas Album"

 I examined the contents of this bizarre CD sitting atop my dresser to make sure that I was not being delusional, or that some mysterious elf wasn't pranking me.  Then in doorway appeared the guilty wife elf giggling mischievously.

Now I like Willie Nelson as much as the next guy (no actually I don't .... at all really.... in fact I don't get it....really.... I don't.) There is something so wrong about Willie Nelson putting out a Christmas Album.  Seriously what does a pot smoking, tax evading, bandanna sporting, craggy old man with a face that has seen more miles than Keith Richards and Bob Dylan combined doing making a Christmas album?  Well I guess he does have the scary santa thing going.

I can imagine "Away in a manger" going something like this:
"Away on a Pot Farm no weed for my bong.............."
What's next... The Miley Cyrus Christmas album featuring Twerk the Halls?"

Why cant we just leave this stuff to the masters like Bing Crosby or Gene Autry?  Or even ....God help me... Celine Dion? But please Rosanne Barr and David Hasselhoff -haven't you destroyed the culture enough?  Please stop somewhere. Please don't pollute this holiday.. Oh too late.  No seriously. You may be saying "NO. ....they didn't.... but I assure you.... they did.

Sorry William Hung.  Hung Low for the Holidays is just one step too far man!



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