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Tight Clothed Cyclists Have Taken Over Monmouth County


That's right, here in Monmouth county there is a new type of predator.  It is not the summer time humidity, or the assaulting mosquitoes, or the raucous 20 something year old crowd frequenting the county's bars.  Instead Monmouth county has been taken over by a new plague; tight clothed cyclists.

Let me explain...

First off I have nothing against cyclists.  I love bike riding myself.  However, the thing that bothers me the most is how some cyclists act like they own the road.  They cycle in the middle of the road forcing cars to swerve into the opposite lane to avoid hitting them. A perfect example of this happens on Navesink River Road which is arguably the most beautiful road in NJ.  The road is windy, hilly, and narrow.  Cars have trouble sometimes navigating the narrowness of the road, now throw some cyclists into the mix and you get a precarious mix of congestion which can be deadly.

Another thing that drives me crazy are the corny tight fitting outfits that these cyclists wear.  It is like each of them is part of the Tour the France or something. I highly doubt that any of these cyclists have lucrative sponsorships. Couldn't they wear something cooler, more masculine looking?  Maybe if they dressed more like bikers I wouldn't mind them so much. But since they insist on looking like Eastern European gymnists it is personal for me.  If you going to wear something so corny why not go all out?  Wear Speedos or something.  At least then there wouldn't be any pretension.

Maybe I am suffering from biker's envy.  Maybe I will ask my wife to buy me one of those tight outfits so that I could wear it around the house.  Until then I will be counting down the days until the summer is over and the anarchy of cyclists has run its course in Monmouth county.


  1. Uhh yeah, if your wife buys you one you should wear it around the house... only. Only your wife should get that good a look at your manhood.


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