Why suffer?

"To love the Cross means being able to put oneself out, gladly, for the Love of Christ, though it's hard-and because it's hard.  You have enough experience to know that this is not a contradiction."- St. Josemaria Escriva from The Forge, 519.

Today, Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. Lent is a special time for me since it gives me the unique opportunity each year to connect or reconnect with what's most important in my life.

Recently, I was speaking to my spiritual director about several issues that have been plaguing me and how at times I've felt abandoned by God.  My spiritual director listened to me patiently until he uttered, "You must not be only resigned to the cross, ( the challenges and adversities of life), but you must love the cross because there is little love in resignation."  

I was affected very much by those words even though at first I was upset. How could I love the troubles, the pain, the dashed hopes, the disappointments,  the fears, the frustrations of my life? 

After some soul searching, I began to understand my spiritual director's assessment. I thought of how a good mother loves her child even through trauma.  I saw it in nature. I read about it in the lives of the saints and the gospels.  Why did I think that somehow this heroic surrender didn't apply to me?

I had made the mistake that many good Christians make; I thought that as long as I fulfilled my duties, my life would be OK.  This might be understandable, but it is an incomplete image of love. To really love is to welcome suffering into your life.  What person in love hasn't felt the sting of pain of seeing their loved one suffering?  What soldier hasn't felt that burden when seeing their comrade killed in battle? What parent hasn't felt the heartbreak of seeing their child make poor life choices?  This is what is meant by "loving Christ's cross," making the most out of the worst of circumstances.

Jesus didn't run away from his cross. He embraced it.  He could have totally escaped his fate, after all he was God. But he chose to accept the cross as a way of saving humanity.  When viewed from this angle, embracing the cross is a privilege because it unities us to Jesus who did the very same thing.

I want to end this post with this great quote from The Imitation of Christ: 

"Many love Jesus as long as no hardship touches them. Many praise and bless Him, as long as they are receiving comfort from Him. But if Jesus withdraws Himself, they fall to complaining and utter dejection." Thomas A Kempis